How to Get Through Your Domestic Violence Case (2023)


How to Get Through Your Domestic Violence Case (1) Ask any top Stamford domestic violence defense attorney and they will agree that getting through a criminal domestic violence case can prove to be one of the most stressful and emotionally testing ordeals you can face. Not only are you dealing with a criminal case but in addition you often have to face criminal orders of protection and can face alienation from your family members and removal from your home for extended periods of time. Domestic violence brings the added dimension that the victim(s) of your alleged crime are your family members so there are family wounds to heal and emotional trauma to overcome. In some situations the arrest itself can be the so called “last straw” in a relationship and lead to a divorce or an end to the relationship. Added to these factors is the fact that the domestic violence Courts are backlogged and have heavy dockets and therefore domestic violence cases move very slowly. You need to have a lot of patience and work with your Stamford domestic violence defense attorney in order to achieve a favorable result to your criminal case in the Court so that you can move on with mending the trauma back at home and healing your family. In this section I am going to give some recommendations based upon my 25 years of experience in defending domestic violence cases and answer some questions that my clients ask me almost every day.

1. Hire an Experienced Domestic Violence Attorney

Although some of the charges in domestic violence Court may seem somewhat trivial such as breach of peace or disorderly conduct and you could probably get the case resolved without an attorney there is too much on the line to risk going it alone. A conviction for any domestic violence offense will have a lifelong effect upon your reputation and your earning capacity. While these kind of cases are pending against you they show up on criminal background checks and can cause you to lose out on employment opportunities. A misdemeanor conviction for certain family violence crimes will result in a lifelong prohibition against owning firearms. By hiring an experienced Stamford criminal defense attorney you will get your case resolved as quickly as possible and in the most favorable manner. When you are facing the power of the State you need an experienced and knowledgeable criminal defense lawyer to advise you and stand by your side to protect your rights and fight for the best outcome.

(Video) 5. Preparing for your Domestic Violence Hearing

2. Do Not Violate the Terms of any Criminal Orders of Protection

Go over your orders of protection carefully with your defense counsel and make sure that you follow them to the letter. The number one complication that I see in domestic violence cases that I am handling on a daily basis are so called “technical violations” of criminal orders of protection where a client has contacted the victim in some manner in violation of the terms of an order of protection. If you pick up the additional charge of violation of a protective order not only is that a serious felony charge that you will be facing but it is going to make the resolution of your original domestic violence case much more complicated and will take additional time also. No matter how tempting it may be to contact the victim while your case is pending - if you have a no contact order don’t do it - you have to look at the big picture and keep in mind that the order or protection is only temporary and will eventually be lifted by the Court. A little patience at this time will pay huge dividends latter.

3. Be Extra Careful with “Partial” Orders of Protection

Many people are really happy when they get the least restrictive so called “partial” order of protection instead of a full no contact order because it allows them to have contact with the victim and continue their relationship. However these type of protection orders do create a lot of grey area and danger for allegations of violations of the order of protection. A no contact order is black and white. It simply says do not contact the victim. It is easy to understand when it is violated. A “partial” order which includes the language not to assault, threaten, harass, or interfere with the victim has a lot more grey area. There is a lot of ambiguity in the words “harass” and “interfere.” In some situations victims of domestic violence have been known to use these “partial” orders of protection as swords and turn a minor disagreement into a situation where the accused winds up being arrested for a felony charge of violation of an order of protection based upon exaggerated and false allegations. If you are the subject of a “partial” order of protection I advise that you have to be extra careful while the order is in effect and err on the side of caution in all of your dealings with the victim. Too many defendants become comfortable with the situation and later wind up getting into an argument or disagreement that leads to a call to 911 and an additional arrest for violation of an order of protection. If you are subject to a “partial” order of protection have a in depth conversation with your Stamford domestic violence defense attorney and have a discussion of the best practices to avoid getting into situations where you can be accused of violation of the order.

(Video) What You'll Need to Win Your Domestic Violence Case | Experienced Attorney Explains

4. Don’t Pick Up any New Arrests

One of the worst things you can do to complicate your domestic violence case is picking up a new criminal case while your current case is pending. The State’s Attorney and the Court are going to look very unfavorably upon defendants who keep picking up arrests and you are not going to get a positive resolution of your case in this manner. Obviously the best thing you can do is stay out of trouble and go out of your way to keep a low profile until your case is concluded. Domestic violence cases can linger on for up to two years if you are participating in the family violence education program so it is important to maintain your vigilance and remain focused on avoiding any new criminal arrests until your domestic violence case has been dismissed.

5. Seek Therapy If You Are Going Through a Hard Time Emotionally

Getting arrested for a domestic violence case and going through the Court system can be incredibly stressful. When you add into the mix the family and relationship issues that got you into the domestic violence arrest in the first place it can be emotionally overwhelming. A few sessions with a therapist can prove to be very helpful in getting you through the domestic violence Court process and also rebuilding your relationship with your loved ones. However, in most cases proof that you are seeking therapy can also be highly beneficial in getting a more favorable resolution in your case and / or in getting the Court to modify any criminal orders of protection that may have entered. There is almost no domestic violence case where seeking therapy is not going to have a positive impact on settlement negotiations with the State’s Attorney. In addition, many clients report that working with an experienced therapist has really been a useful and productive experience that has helped them get through the difficult process of dealing with a domestic violence case. My recommendation is to speak with your Greenwich domestic violence defense lawyer and see if engaging in some private therapy sessions will be helpful in reaching a more favorable resolution in your case. If you are feeling stressed out and in need of help do not hesitate to seek professional assistance which can be of enormous help.

(Video) Can your wife / girlfriend / spouse / ex drop domestic violence charges against you?

6. What Time Does Court Start? What to Wear to Court?; Etc

Domestic violence cases are heard on special days known as “d/v” days. Court starts at 10:00 a.m. and you should usually try to get there around 9:30 a.m. so that you can go over any last minute details with your attorney. You do not want to arrive late for your Court appearances as the Court may issue a re-arrest order which will require additional headaches to get resolved.

A lot of clients ask what they should wear to Court. Ideally you want to wear the kind of business attire you would wear to a job interview. You want to make a good impression upon the Judge and the State’s Attorney. This is not the time for outlandish fashion statements or overly casual appearances. I am confident that if you are taking the time to read this material that you will make the effort to present yourself professionally when you appear in Court.

If you have any fines or program fees (such as the family violence education program) to pay, those payments must be made on the same day as your Court date. The Court accepts cash, personal checks and credit and debit cards.

(Video) How A Victim Can Help Dismiss a Family Violence Case

7. There Is Light at the End of the Tunnel

The vast majority of domestic violence defendants are first time offenders who have never been arrested before and are facing their first blush with the criminal justice system. Although it may seem very confusing, frustrating and stressful to go through the process most cases end with a dismissal of all charges. When you are in the midst of the process it may seem like it is taking forever and many clients report that they are feeling very stressed out about the experience. However, in most cases the end result is going to be a positive one and you will be left with no criminal record and your charges will be dropped. The most important thing that you can do when you are facing a domestic violence arrest is contact a Stamford domestic violence attorney as soon as possible so you can get working on an effective defense strategy from day one and make the process as quick as possible.

Let Us Represent You in Your Domestic Violence Arrest!

We always provide every client with a free initial consultation. We have 25 years of criminal law experience throughout the State of Connecticut. We will review your goals of the representation which are usually a dismissal or a reduction of the charges and any special concerns that you may have. In some cases working with an experienced Stamford domestic violence defense attorney can make the difference in having your case dismissed or reduced down to a lesser charge.

(Video) How to Get Domestic Violence Charges Dismissed

If you have been arrested for a domestic violence charge in Stamford, Norwalk, Darien, Bridgeport, New Canaan, Greenwich, Cos Cob, Fairfield, Weston ,Westport, Wilton, and throughout the County of Fairfield do not hesitate to contact the Law Offices of Allan F. Friedman. We work on a flat fee basis and our rates are reasonable. We offer payments plans as needed. Call Attorney Friedman at (203) 357-5555 to schedule your free initial consultation we are available 24/7. Or you can contact us online for a prompt response.


Can I withdraw my statement in a domestic violence case? ›

If you withdraw your statement, the case might still go to court if the police think they have enough evidence to prosecute the suspect. If you want to withdraw your statement because you're worried about giving evidence, you should tell the police how you feel.

What are some points on domestic violence? ›

The CDC reports that more than 1 in 3 women and about 1 in 3 men in the United States experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime. 1 in 3 teens experience dating violence. Those who identify as nonbinary or LGBTQ+ are often even more likely to experience abuse.

What is the conviction rate for domestic violence? ›

Once a domestic abuse case gets to court, the conviction rate is actually quite high compared to other crimes – 86 per cent compared to 66 per cent for robbery. Domestic abuse isn't one offence so there are no sentencing statistics for it.

What kind of therapy is best for domestic violence? ›

Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)

CPT is an effective treatment for reducing PTSD and depression symptoms following interpersonal victimization, including physical and sexual assault.

Can a victim withdraw evidence? ›

If you're a victim or prosecution witness, you can ask the Crown Prosecution Service ( CPS ) to see your statement again before you go to court to refresh your memory. You can add things to your statement if you remember them later on, but you cannot withdraw it.

How do I drop a police statement? ›

If the witness wants to go ahead and withdraw their support for the prosecution, they will have to contact the police or Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) directly and make a request to make a statement of withdrawal.

What are 2 effects of domestic violence on victims? ›

ongoing anxiety and depression. emotional distress. eating and sleeping disturbances. physical symptoms, such as headaches and stomach aches.

How does domestic violence affect a woman mentally? ›

These include post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and suicidal thoughts. One study shows that the likelihood of abused women experiencing PTSD is seven times higher than for those who have not been abused. The risk of abused women developing depression and anxiety is also high.

What is the highest domestic violence? ›

1. Oklahoma. About 49.1% of Oklahoma women and 40.7% of Oklahoma men experience domestic violence in their lifetimes, including intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner rape, or intimate partner stalking. This is the highest in the United States.

How long do you go to jail for domestic violence in the US? ›

Penalties for Felony domestic violence

If you are charged with a felony, you will serve up to 4 years in state prison. The sentence could be longer depending on the seriousness of injuries you inflicted. Additionally, you will have to undergo a mandatory domestic violence class.

Is domestic violence a big deal? ›

Today domestic violence is acknowledged as a serious, violent crime and part of society that harms women, increases child abuse, reduces medical resources, and endangers the lives and welfare of officers.

Do domestic abuse cases go to court? ›

Domestic violence cases may also be dealt with in a Specialist Domestic Violence Court (a type of Magistrates' Court that specialises in domestic violence cases). If the defendant is 17 and under then the case will be heard in a Youth Court, with specially trained judges or magistrates.

How do you win a domestic violence trial? ›

What are the chances of a defendant winning a domestic violence...
  1. the alleged victim's injury was the result of an accident,
  2. the alleged victim's injuries did not result from your actions,
  3. you were acting in self-defense or in defense of someone else, and/or.
1 Sept 2022

Does domestic violence give you PTSD? ›

Domestic violence and PTSD

Recent research has found that PTSD can occur in individuals who experience domestic violence. Studies have found that PTSD can range from 31% to 84.4%⁴ among sufferers of intimate partner violence.

What are the 3 phases in the domestic violence cycle? ›

There are three stages to the cycle of violence:
  • First is the tension building phase. In this phase, the batterer gets edgy and tension begins to build up. ...
  • Second is the actual explosion phase where the physical abuse occurs. It can last from a few minutes to several hours.
  • Third is the honeymoon phase.

Can the victim drop charges? ›

While a victim is able to file a complaint against the accused, they can also choose to no longer participate in the case, and thus request that the charges be dropped.

What happens if you lie in a witness statement? ›

If you are a claimant, witness or an expert making a false statement it is likely that you will face committal proceedings for contempt of court.

Is a witness statement enough to convict? ›

What is reassuring for defendants is that whilst a signed statement from a complainant is enough for a charge, it is not necessarily enough to secure a conviction. The complainant must be able to convince the jury or magistrates that the defendant is guilty beyond reasonable doubt.

How can charges be dropped before court date? ›

Presenting Exculpatory Evidence

The Prosecutor needs to believe that you committed the offense to be able to charge you. But if you can provide any evidence, in the form of witnesses or physical evidence, that proves you did not commit the offense, the Prosecutor will get your charges dropped.

What happens after you give a statement to the police? ›

Once the statement has been written, the police officer will ask you to read it to check it's accurate. You can ask the police officer to read your statement to you. You will be asked to sign the statement to say that it is an accurate account of what you think happened.

What happens if you are too ill to attend court? ›

Everyone who is summoned to give evidence as a witness in court is required to appear. However, you may be so sick that you cannot attend, and thus have a valid excuse not to appear at the designated time. You may be asked to provide documentation of your illness, which you can do by obtaining a doctor's certificate.

What does abuse do to a woman? ›

Physical abuse can cause many chronic (long-lasting) health problems, including heart problems, high blood pressure, and digestive problems. Women who are abused are also more likely to develop depression, anxiety, or eating disorders. Women who are abused may also misuse alcohol or drugs as a way to cope.

What are 5 consequences of intimate partner violence? ›

Injury, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms, concern for safety, fear, needing help from law enforcement, and missing at least one day of work are common impacts reported. Over 61 million women and 53 million men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

What are 5 effects of abuse? ›

  • Trauma, stress and the developing brain. ...
  • Attachment and interpersonal relationship problems. ...
  • Learning and developmental problems. ...
  • Mental health problems. ...
  • Youth suicide. ...
  • Alcohol and other drug use. ...
  • Behavioural problems. ...
  • Aggression, violence and criminal activity.

What mental illness is often associated with domestic violence? ›

On average, more than half of the women seen in mental health settings are being or have been abused by an intimate partner. There are specific diagnoses that are commonly experienced by these women: post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and anxiety.

Can domestic violence cause bipolar? ›

Avoid the Vicious Cycle of Mental Health and Abuse

There's an explanatory link between relationship abuse and bipolar disorder. The Psychiatric Times article mentioned above cites that around 80% of people with bipolar disorder experienced one or more traumatic events earlier in their lives.

What are the four factors that contribute to domestic violence? ›

A combination of individual, relational, community, and societal factors contribute to the risk of becoming a perpetrator of IPV. Understanding these multilevel factors can help identify various opportunities for prevention.

Who initiates domestic violence more? ›

Studies of married couples show similar results with domestic violence being initiated as follows: 25% by male. 25% by female. The other 50% mutually.

What country is domestic violence most common? ›

A UN report compiled from a number of different studies conducted in at least 71 countries found domestic violence against women to be most prevalent in Ethiopia. Up to two-thirds of women in certain communities in Nigeria's Lagos State say they are victims to domestic violence.

What ethnicity commits the most domestic violence? ›

Rates of reported contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking in their lifetime by race/ethnicity2...
  • 45.1% of non-Hispanic Black women / 40.1% of non-Hispanic Black men.
  • 37.3% of non-Hispanic White women / 30.3% of non-Hispanic White men.
  • 34.4% of Hispanic women / 30% of Hispanic men.

What is the lowest charge of assault? ›

Learn how the law defines and penalizes misdemeanor or simple assault crimes. Misdemeanor assaults are the least serious among assault and battery crimes and usually don't involve serious injury. This crime might be referred to as simple assault in your state.

What percentage of domestic violence goes unreported? ›

About two-thirds of victims of the crime reported to police that year compared to 52% in 2019. Domestic violence victimizations often go unreported. US Department of Justice.

How long does a domestic violence misdemeanor stay on your record in California? ›

A misdemeanor domestic violence conviction can generally be expunged after five years after you complete your sentence. For example, if you got arrested in 2020, went to trial in 2021, and got out of jail in 2022, you would be eligible for expungement in 2027.

How does domestic violence affect anxiety? ›

Women experiencing domestic and family violence are more likely to experience depression, panic attacks, phobias, anxiety and sleeping disorders. They have higher stress levels and are at greater risk of suicide attempts.

Can depression lead to domestic violence? ›

The large review of 36,000 people found that women who struggled with depression had almost double the risk of becoming victims of domestic violence. It's a finding that suggests some women may struggle with a cycle of depression and domestic violence that can be hard to escape from.

What percentage of marriages end in domestic violence? ›

Nearly 20% of marriages and intimate partnerships will experience physical violence, according to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. Emotional abuse is even more common.

How long does a domestic violence case run? ›

Dispose of domestic violence cases in 60 days: HC.

Can domestic violence case be withdrawn? ›

The domestic violence case can be quashed by the apex court when the wife filed an vague allegations domestic violence case or the husband has all appropriate evidence to prove his quashing case by telling the apex court that all allegation is false and vague in nature by producing the supporting evidence.

Which defense is frequently used in domestic violence cases? ›

Insufficient evidence and reasonable doubt

A lack of evidence, or a lack of evidence strong enough to support a charge beyond reasonable doubt, is one of the most common defenses relied upon.

What happens in domestic violence case? ›

—In addition to other reliefs as may be granted under this Act, the Magistrate may on an application being made by the aggrieved person, pass an order directing the respondent to pay compensation and damages for the injuries, including mental torture and emotional distress, caused by the acts of domestic violence ...

What does abuse PTSD look like? ›

Frequent crying, anxiety, confusion, guilt, and shame are just some of the feelings commonly felt by those who've been emotionally abused. And if left untreated, PTSD can also trigger the patient to develop other mental health issues, such as anxiety disorder, depression, etc.

How do you deal with abuse triggers? ›

How to Handle Trauma Trigger Symptoms
  1. Recognize your behavior or physical symptom as the result of a trauma trigger.
  2. Breathe deeply and slowly until your brain gets the message.
  3. Focus on the sights, sounds, smells, textures and/or tastes of the present environment.
14 Dec 2014

Can domestic violence trigger anxiety? ›

The study's key results were that domestic abuse has positive relationship with depression, anxiety, and stress. It was also found that domestic abuse has a negative relationship with quality of life of those who have been subjected to domestic violence of this sort.

What is the time period of greatest danger for the battered woman? ›

Research indicates that the most dangerous time for a battered woman is after she ends the relationship. In the United States, research indicates that women who leave their batterers are at a 75% greater risk of being killed by their batterers than those who stay.

Why is it so hard to break the cycle of abuse? ›

Repetition in the cycle of violence initially occurs because victims think the first violence occurrence is a “one-time thing.” Victims may feel hurt and shocked, but usually, accept their abuser's excuse or apology. This sets the pace for the cycle of abuse to continue and gain momentum.

What is trauma bonding? ›

Trauma bonding happens when an abuser uses manipulation tactics and cycles of abuse to make the victim feel dependent on them for care and validation, causing a strong attachment or bond. This often occurs in romantic narcissistic relationships, but can also occur in families, friendships, or work relationships.

What are the 10 causes of violence? ›

10 Most Common Causes of Domestic Violence in Relationship
  • Mental problems.
  • Poverty and unemployment.
  • Education.
  • Young parents.
  • Relationship Retention Behavior.
  • Historical Factors.
  • Cultural Factors.
  • Self Defence.
13 Sept 2022

What are the 4 main types of violence? ›

Forms of violence
  • Physical violence. Any act which causes physical harm as a result of unlawful physical force. ...
  • Sexual violence. Any sexual act perfomed on an individual without their consent. ...
  • Psychological violence. Any act which causes psychological harm to an individual. ...
  • Economic violence.

What is domestic violence in easy words? ›

Domestic violence is violence committed by someone in the victim's domestic circle. This includes partners and ex-partners, immediate family members, other relatives and family friends. The term 'domestic violence' is used when there is a close relationship between the offender and the victim.

Why is domestic violence a big issue? ›

Why is the issue of domestic violence important? Domestic violence is a serious social problem and a national health concern with significant negative impacts on individuals and our communities. It is a primary cause of injury to women in the United States.

What triggers violent behavior? ›

Factors Which Increase Risk of Violent Behavior

Being the victim of physical abuse and/or sexual abuse. Exposure to violence in the home and/or community. Being the victim of bullying. Genetic (family heredity) factors.

Is yelling a form of violence? ›

There can also be verbal abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse and more. So, is yelling at someone considered domestic violence? Under these guidelines, many experts do call yelling at someone a form of domestic violence. It could qualify as either verbal abuse or emotional abuse — or both.

What are 5 risk behaviors for violence? ›

Individual Risk Factors
  • History of violent victimization.
  • Attention deficits, hyperactivity, or learning disorders.
  • History of early aggressive behavior.
  • Involvement with drugs, alcohol, or tobacco.
  • Low IQ.
  • Poor behavioral control.
  • Deficits in social cognitive or information-processing abilities.
  • High emotional distress.

What is a Type 1 violence? ›

Type 1: Criminal Intent

In Type 1 violence, the perpetrator has no legitimate relationship to the business or its employees, and is usually committing a crime in conjunction with the violence (robbery, shoplifting, trespassing).

What are the 3 types of victims? ›

The typology consists of six categories: (1) completely innocent victims; (2) victims with minor guilt; (3) voluntary victims; (4) victims more guilty than the offender; (5) victims who alone are guilty; and (6) the imaginary victims.

What are the three levels of hostile behavior? ›

Table of Contents
  • Level One (Early Warning Signs)
  • Level Two (Escalation of the Situation)
  • Level Three (Further Escalation – Usually Resulting in an Emergency Response)
  • Domestic Violence.

What profession has the highest domestic violence rate? ›

So which occupation has the highest rate? That would be police officers. Studies have found that a minimum of 40 percent of families of officers have experienced some type of domestic violence. This can include anything from harassment and stalking to homicide.


1. How To Beat A Domestic Violence Case: A Former Prosecutor Explains! (2021)
(The Hampton Law Firm P.L.L.C)
2. How to Beat a Domestic Violence Case At Trial By Telling The Truth! Pt. 1
(Eddie Boom)
3. Can the Complaining Witness or victim in a Domestic Violence case dismiss the charge?
(Fagan, Fagan & Davis)
4. How Do I Get My Domestic Assault Charges Dropped?
(Wilson Criminal Defence)
5. How to Win a Domestic Violence Case
(Hieu Vu)
6. Case Result! Domestic Violence Case Dismissed
(Robert Gouveia Esq.)
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